Or did I?
On closer inspection, the package that I held in my hand said Prunes but it also said in the front corner Dried Plums. Well, which was it? Scanning the remaining shelves, I found raisins, I found apricots, but no more prunes. The hell with it, I thought, my Old Man is getting these. If they're right, they're right. If they aren't well, I guess I'll take my lumps.
I explained the quandary to my father who immediately affirmed that prunes are in fact dried plums. He chuckled a little bit when he said it; I'm uncertain as to whether he found mirth in my idiocy or if he just knew what was coming next.
"Well, why not just call them dried plums then?" I asked.
"Yeah, well why do they call dried grapes raisins?" he shot right back.
Damn good question Dad, damn good question. To the Google we go.
 |
| One is a Plum, the other is a Dried Plum, right? |
What I found may well shock you to the core, may make you question everything that you have ever known, may force you to look at the world in a different light.
Or it might just make you a little sleepy.
Let's begin with the one that started the madness. A plum is a fruit of a subgenus Pruna of the genus Pruna, The better question might be why a plum isn't called a prune, not the other way around, with a ancestral name like that. Scientifically speaking, a prune is a specific type of plum, one that existed long long ago.
That doesn't answer why we distinguish a plum as a plum and a dried plum as a prune. The Google is rather quiet about that. I have a theory though...just indulge me a little longer.
So, why is a dried grape called a raisin then? Again, Google doesn't really give a direct answer, but it does provide a clue that begins to unravel the entire conspiracy. The most common answer you'll find, as if it somehow explains it, is that the French word for grape is raisin.
I briefly considered asking Siri for her advice on the matter, but as I was already a bit aggravated by the whole nonsense it seemed wiser to leave her idiotic opinion on things out it; Siri and I have had many a shouting match on a variety of topics.
OK, so I can accept that a grape is also a raisin, and indeed a dried grape could therefore be a raisin. What about other dried fruit though? A dried apricot is a dried apricot, not a dilly dally, right?
Guess what? Apricot in French is Abricot. Somewhere along the way, some dumbass used a "p" instead of a "b" and it just took.
It goes even further than that. A banana is banane. Cherry is cerise- say them both out loud for a second. Cherry. Cerise. Somebody didn't know how to spell it and you know, just kind of guessed. Same goes for a berry. Its a baie. Berry. Baie. Its the same damn word.
An orange is an orange. That one was easy. It falls apart a little with apples which are called pommes (interestingly, I thought that that was potato, and it seems like it actually is- a Pomme De Terre, or apple of the earth, but whatever).
Which brings us back to the fruit that started it all- those damn dried plums.
You guessed it. The French word for plum is prune.
I don't know why the French have taken all of our words for fruits. I don't how they were able to pull off this dastardly deed, but I suspect that this thing goes All The Way To The Top. But I assure you that I will make it my life's mission to find out and to stop this thing before it goes any further.
I'll begin to outline my plan tonight, while sitting at a bar, drinking a beer and munching on some Freedom Fries. Its just a shame that Toby Keith's I Love This Bar and Grill is closing up shop at The Shops at West End; one look at the menu tells you that Toby, he understands everything. 'Murica!
BONUS ROUND TIME:
If I have a right to remain silent, do I have to respond when they ask if I understand my rights? If I do respond, have I not waived my rights? The answers are, respectively, yep and nope.
http://criminal.findlaw.com/
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