This week, we take a walk through my head. You've been warned.
You ever walk into a room to find that your roommate or significant other has redecorated and your first thought is just how drunk were they? This happened this week:
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| Yes it does appear to be a stuffed lion in a tutu wearing a sombrero eating a hot dog. Why do you ask? |
If I am driving down a two lane road and up ahead I see a garbage truck and a Subaru side by side in each lane, I'm going to stop behind the garbage truck, even if it means I have to change lanes to do so. I actually rented a Subaru last year and I discovered that you can in fact accelerate off the line and it is possible to travel at the rate of or even exceed the posted speed limit if you choose to do so. Really, I found a Subaru to operate very similarly to every other vehicle that I have ever driven. Why then do Subaru drivers drive them as if they are made from saran wrap and cardboard tubes with glazed doughnuts for wheels?
I absolutely refuse to go through the drive thru at Burger King anymore. If some jackass started screaming, "Crosssssaaaaaiiiiinnnnwiiichhh" in a vaguely Latino accent at me over the drive thru speaker I'd probably be arrested. To me its annoying, offensive, and borderline racist and I guess its an example of advertising that I just don't get. Maybe I'm too old, maybe the kids these days roam the halls between classes talking to each other about that rad BK commercial. Kids still say rad, right?
I'm sorry, but Adrian Peterson is a punk that embodies everything that's wrong with our sports stars today. I watched him on the sideline on Sunday night at the Hall of Fame Game and listened to Chris Collinsworth talk about how he was brought up a certain way and I just shook my head. My Dad used to let me ride in the front seat without a seatbelt on. Does that mean that I could rationalize doing that with my kid? Or would I be smart enough to know that it wasn't a good idea for me to do that? I watched AP eat a protein bar, then reach around a water girl to grab a water bottle from her hand. When she turned around to look to see who just gave her a reach around, he gave her a look of smug entitlement that was completely condescending and mildly threatening. This is a guy that swore he wanted a new contract and when told he couldn't have one demanded a trade. Then he came back and given a new contract. He was sentenced to probation, did little to none of it, and was subsequently excused from doing anymore of it. He was suspended for a year from the NFL, but with full pay. He beat a child, wrote a horrific text to the Mom about it, and then shrugged it off like it was no big deal. And Minnesota will welcome him back with open arms when it is all said and done while commentators that decried his actions a year ago will try to somehow rationalize the events of the past. Its over, and its time to move on, but I'll never be an AP fan again.
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| "Well, I'll get everything I want in the end anyway, so..." |
The Walgreens "Dance Team" commercial bugs me. First, how does the Mom of the first kid forget to do her hair? Second, where the hell are all the parents anyway? Seemed like a pretty big show, you'd think they'd want to watch their kids, right? Instead they rely on one Mom to keep an eye on their little dancers, and are evidently OK with her buying them makeup. Finally, they went to all that effort to get their hair done, makeup just right, and get those dance moves down only to win sixth place. Sixth place. Really? Think if they went to Ulta they might have cracked the top three at least? Actually maybe that's why none of the other parents showed up- they knew how lousy they were...
How do prisoners trim their nails? Nail files seem like a bad idea in a prison setting, right? Long nails also don't seem to make a lot of sense. Something has to give...
We have a piece of plexiglass on the kitchen wall that we use to doodle random notes and other nonsense. This week I walked in to this:
Somebody once asked, could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said, Yep, what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little chang (sic)
My first thought was:
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