On Friday Night Introspection

I spent the day today playing video games.  Like, hours of them.  I've been threatening to do this for months and today I finally did it.  I played Madden 2015 for probably close to 6 hours, pausing only to eat, get a beer, or use the bathroom.  I didn't feel too bad though as my wife spent the day watching some show on Starz where most of the characters spoke in a Scottish brogue so thick that I could only pick out a word here and there in the one episode I watched with her.

I came back to the real world when I shut the PS4 off and the first thing I saw was a report of a shooting at a Planned Parenthood in Colorado Springs.  As of the last report I saw, 5 people had been injured and one had died.  Most of the injured/killed were police.

And the first thing that I thought as I watched the report was that I was sorry.  Certainly for the victims, but what I meant was more that I was sorry for the world.  Cause it is evident that I am not doing something right here.  I'm a citizen of this human race, and I am a part of every problem and every solution.  And something just is not right.  It just isn't.  And I'm sorry that I don't know what that is.

I look around me and I see so many things that I don't understand.  I don't understand how religion can play such a huge part in everything that is done and not done; how a religion can refuse to baptize people until they are old enough to disavow their family's beliefs and do so for the sake of preserving the sanctity of the family, or how people can follow their faith down a path that leads to the killing of others in the name of that faith.  I don't understand how the actions of a few can lead to the hatred of and casting out of people of a particular religion, nor do I understand how we cannot seem to recall that history repeats itself. When we speak of closing our borders or registering people from a specific country, how does this not hearken back to the days of American isolationism prior to World War One or the placement of Japanese Americans into camps during World War Two?  When we speak about refusing refugees from countries in turmoil, how is it that we have forgotten the Jews that we turned away during the early days of the second World War or of the entreaty that we have placed at Ellis Island to welcome our new immigrants- where we speak of the tired, huddled masses and our open arms welcoming them?  I don't understand how our Constitution has become an Absolute document- where we point to the second amendment with pride and hold our guns in the air because it is our Right to carry them. I own guns, and I am thankful for the right to have them, but I don't understand why we can't find a better balance in our thinking where we can say maybe, just maybe, it is a little too easy to get your hands on one sometimes.

I don't understand how this can all be Obama's fault, how people can seriously believe that everything that one man says or does has a negative impact upon us all and that everything from his birth to his religion is evidently a lie to some.  I don't understand how everything became about absolutes- right or wrong, black or white, left or right, Christian or not.  I don't understand how the people around me can be so seemingly normal and likable yet still post xenophobic, offensive, racist, divisive, and incendiary content to social media with all appearances of believing the polemic dogma.  I don't understand how our police can be vilified when a suspect is killed and also when one is not.  I don't understand how innocent until proven guilty has seemingly been forgotten and how we try all of our cases in public well before we ever try them in court.

I know that I don't do enough.  I don't change my profile picture to show support and solidarity for a country that falls victim to terrorism.  I don't share my discomfort when others do change theirs for one incident but not for another, nor do I acknowledge my embarrassment that I like so many others didn't even know that an attack in Lebanon had preceded the one in France until the day after it happened.  I don't speak out when I read the inflammatory rhetoric that is posted in the comments of other's thoughts or when nonsensical bullshit is presented as fact and forwarded and shared and posted ad nauseam, resurrecting itself year after year after year like an indestructible chain letter.  I don't lend my voice to any cause; I don't offer my time, my mind, or my money to any charity.  I don't keep an open mind about the things that I see and hear and read as often as I should.

I don't stand up and say this is ENOUGH.  This needs to STOP.  This is WRONG.

And I am sorry that I do not understand these things, that I do not do enough to facilitate change.  I am sorry that today 5 people were hurt or killed and so many more were in fear for a period of time in my state.  Because I share a responsibility for what happened today, both in Colorado Springs as well as in the Syrian desert.  We all do, and maybe it is time for me to take more of that responsibility.

Because I greatly fear that what we are doing now just isn't working.

On The Earworm Mixtape

Every morning I wake up.  This is a good thing.  My routine is fairly simple- check my phone, check my email, slowly get up out of bed and make my way to the bathroom to start the day.

At some point during this time my earworm will also awaken.  It's a gradual thing, and it happens completely unbidden and before I am even aware of it.   Some days, it's pretty cool.  Some good old rock and roll for the morning soul.  Other days, well, let's just say that my earworm can be kind of a dick sometimes.  No matter the selection though, it is rarely more than three lines of a particular song.  More often, it is a single line.  On repeat.  For awhile.  Every. Morning.

I decided in October to start a log of my earworm's daily selection, and it lasted all of two days before I forgot about it.  That's how much a part of my life my earworm is- I just forget that he's even there a lot.  Then November 10th came.  As I began the long and twisted path towards madness less than half an hour after awakening, I felt compelled to start the log again.

Children and adults with medical conditions are advised caution before proceeding; earworms can be terribly contagious.

October 29th- Seether, Words As Weapons.  "All I really want is something beautiful to say".  Guess I was being more cognizant of the bullshit that emanates from my mouth 90% of the time than normal.

October 30th- Volbeat, Heaven Nor Hell.  "Holding onto the words, but baby, I saw an angel become the devil, still they look pretty good, hand in hand"  The video has flaming cars hanging from cranes and the singer shooting devil horns at the camera.  Awesome!

November 10th- Bryan Adams, Straight From The Heart.  "Straiiiggght Frooom The Hearrrttt"  Over and over and over and over again.  Shoot me now.  Please.

November 11th-  The Beatles, Here Comes The Sun.  "Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright".   Beautiful snowy/sunny day

November 12th- Bobby Lewis, Tossing and Turning.  "A doo doo doodoo doo".  I didn't sleep well at all, actually.

November 13th- Volbeat, Still Counting. "Counting all the assholes in the room, well I'm definitely not alone".  Evidently I have a bit of an obsession with Danish metal/rockabilly bands. Who doesn't?

November 14th- Train, Drops of Jupiter.  "Man heaven is over rated".  While I suspect this to be true, I don't even know where it came from.

November 15th- Ennio Morricone, The Ecstasy of Gold.  (Instrumental).  TODAY IS GOING TO BE EPIC!  EPIC!  WOOO!

I bet he listened to The Ecstasy of Gold too

November 16th- Coldplay, Speed of Sound.  "All that noise, all that sound, all those places I have found".    A pleasant intro to a Monday, actually.

November 17th-  Fred Parris and the Satins, In The Still of The Night.  "Shoo doop, shoo be doo". Evidently backing doo wop vocals is a thing for my earworm right now.

November 18th- Metallica, No Leaf Clover.  "Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel is just a freight train coming your way".  Wonder how many times this song has even been played?

November 19th- I was running late for a meeting and didn't write it down.  By the time I remembered the journal, I'd forgotten the song.  That's OK though.  The earworm abides with...

November 20th-  ...A rare remix day!  Bob Marley, Iron, Lion Zion and Is This Love.  "Iron, like a lion, in Zion.  Is this love is this love is this love that I'm feeling?"  Trust me, somehow it works...

November 21st- Erasure, Chains of Love.  "Come to me come to me, hold me, together we'll break these chains of love".  Don't give up!

November 22nd- Loverboy, Hot Girls In Love.  "She's turning on the heat, and it's a hundred above. Hot girls in love".  I always sort of thought that ZZ Top should have recorded this song.

November 23rd- Cypress Hill, Rock Superstar. "Ya wanna be a rock superstar, live large, a big house, five cars, you're in charge".  The "playground" jingle that you hear on its own at the beginning and then plays underneath throughout is da bomb, yo!

November 24th- Iron Maiden, Moonchild.  "I am he, the formless one, the fallen angel watching you".  The build at the beginning is awesome, even better live.  Also, if there is such a thing as a "proper British" heavy metal guitarist, Dave Murray is he.  Watch the video and you'll see what I mean.

So there you have it, 17 days with 17 different earworms.  A smarter person than I might be able to formulate a hypothesis regarding how my subconsciousness comes up with them every day (and really I'd be more interested in how it started), but until then I guess I'll just have to wait until tomorrow and see what the earworm brings.

Which one of my earworms bored its way into your brain today?

BONUS ROUND TIME:

The small number of people that actually read this blog are near and dear to me.  They validate me in some way and knowing that what I write is read and hopefully enjoyed by others brings me joy.  I'm thankful for the readers that I have and for the drive within me to try write good.  So my friends that grew up in the late 80's, what did you give to your friends to share your love of music/get them to like you/explore new sounds/pirate the Metallica Black Album?

Why a Mixtape of course!  The link below will take you to Spotify, where you can listen to the Earworm Mixtape, containing all 17 songs.  I've organized the songs for maximum impact, and, given the variety of genres, beats, and themes, I think it came out pretty good.  Spotify will of course want you to create an account, that I can't help I'm afraid, but I think it's worth an email address.  My gift to you this Thanksgiving week.

Click here for Earwormy Goodness!

On Marital Bliss

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah

Spice Girls, Wannabe

Yeah, I just dropped some Spice Girls on you.  Enjoy the earworm.

I'm going to tell you a secret.  It's just too good to not share, too valuable to be wasted only on me, too wondrous in its simplicity, majestic in it's effectiveness, and awe inspiring in its potential.

It will also be no good once I share it.  This is my dilemma today, and indeed, for the last several years. In the end however, if I can change just ONE life, even for just ONE fleeting moment with my secret, then it will all be worth it.

Have you ever had the following conversation with your spouse, sibling, significant other, child, or cubemate?

"What do you want to eat?"
"I don't know, what do you what to eat?"
"Chinese"
"No, not Chinese"
"Well, what then?  BBQ?"
"I had BBQ for lunch"
"Are you even hungry?"
"I'm starving"
"Well, what do you want to eat then?"
"I don't know, what do you want to eat?"
"Burgers"
"Ehhhhh"

It goes on like this for an eternity.  As time goes on, the hunger grows, and cognitive reasoning dwindles.  Sharp tongues are brandished like glistening steel, stabbing to the very core of the soul.

It is quite simply maddening.

Let's say though that through no small amount of perseverance, skill, and let's face it, luck, you are able to narrow it down to two choices.  This may be one choice from each of you or (more likely) two choices that your significant other can live with.  You're so close, but how can you cross the finish line?

By flipping a coin.

I know, I know, nothing magical about that, but hear me out for a minute.  I recommend that you use an app as your coin flipper; the aptly named Coin Flip is my choice for my iPhone.  Here are the steps to follow:

1.  Decide sides- heads we do George and the Dragon, tails we do El Jardin
2.  Flip the coin
3.  Look down at the coin, look up and ask your significant other what they think it came up as
4.  Listen to response
5.  Enthusiastically exclaim, "yep, you nailed it!  Let's go!"
6.  Eat your meal in marital bliss, as kindred spirits, or happy coworkers as the case may be.

That's all there is to it.  They're happy, you're happy (or at least less angry) and your belly is full. This works in other situations as well- Tennis, or a Movie?  Caddyshack or Mad Max: Fury Road?  Ocean Foam or Ocean Wave blue for the living room wall?   Carpet or Wood Flooring?

Coin Flip, it may one day save your life

The trick is to never let them see the coin, as it really doesn't matter what it comes up as.  What matters is that they believe that it came up the way they guess that it did.  My wife thought she was the luckiest person in the world when it came to guessing the outcome of a coin flip for probably three months before she finally clued into the fact that maybe something was amiss.  If I had to do it all over again, I'd throw in some random wrong guesses; had I done that I'd probably to this day still know what it is she really wants given two choices.

This started out innocently enough; we really were down to two restaurants and flipped a coin.  I did ask her what she thought it came up as, but it wasn't until I saw the hope and excitement on her face when she said Heads that I decided to just agree with her guess and ignore what the app said (in truth, I don't even remember if that first flip was Heads or Tails).

I knew I was on to something special right from the beginning, but it wasn't until I explained it to my father in law and saw the light go on for him as he realized the brilliance of what I'd done that I began to realize just how special it really was.

I have engaged in selective sharing ever since.  My best result was with a newlywed buddy of mine, we'll call him Dynamite to protect the innocent.  When I explained it to him, he looked at me like I was some sort of God.  He came back a few weeks later, excited to share his experience.

"My Mom and Dad had the kid for the day and we were trying to decide what to do.  We weren't getting anywhere, but we finally got it down to tennis or a movie.  I flipped the coin, asked her what it came up as, and before I knew it we were playing tennis."

I've been accused of being manipulative with this little trick.  Maybe.  But if the end result is happiness, and giving someone what they want then how bad can it really be?

On that note, I'll leave you with one final thought.  If you choose to try this method, (and really, why wouldn't you at least give it a shot?) make sure you pay attention to the results.  For Dynamite, if every time a choice comes down to tennis or something else and tennis wins, at some point he ought to just know to suggest tennis right up front and avoid the whole hassle.  For me, I never ever suggest Chinese any more, and if she does I jump right on it because I know that its actually what she wants (what she really really wants).

And in the end that's the whole point.