On Resolving Resolutions

A friend of mine recently told me about the resolutions that he was contemplating for the New Year. There were something like 52 of them, 52 resolutions, one for each week of the year, although my buddy protested that notion and claimed it to be merely a coincidence.  My friend has always trumped me in ambition, and I've little doubt that he'll accomplish more of his resolutions than he will not.  Asshole.

I've never really bought into the notion of the New Year's Resolution; when I decide to do something I either do it or I don't.  I'm not worrying about a milestone in the form of a date that kicks the whole thing off.  He got me thinking though.  What would I change, what would I do differently, what am I not doing that I should be?  How can I be a better person?

Shit, that's a long long list, actually.  Focus man, focus!

In the end, I boiled it down to four goals for the year.  Four accomplishments, ranging from the simple to the good effing luck end of the spectrum, from the pragmatic to the spiritual.  Four items that I can measure myself against, that could have a discernible impact to my life, and that in the end will allow me to look back and say, yeah, I did something in this arbitrary span of time that we call a year.  

Put Down The Phone

I am a phone addict.  I feel funny if my phone isn't where I can see it.  I will pull it out of my pocket, check it, put it back, and then pull it back out two minutes later.  All day, every day, all night, every night.  It is the first thing that I look at in the morning and the last thing that I look at at night.  It is a nervous habit, one born as so many things are of innocent necessity, but has since transcended into a tic that I just need to get rid of.  

A couple of jobs ago, I was on call 24/7.  Our Nagios system sent emails constantly, flooding our inboxes and driving you crazy if you had your phone alert you each time You Had Mail.  So I set it to silent, but I had to constantly check my phone to see if something that I actually had to do something about came in.  

That was almost three years ago now.  I still check email constantly as a result, and hell, since I'm in there let's just see what came across Facebook in the last five minutes, eh?

It's time to stop.  There's nothing that I do these days that can't wait an hour for a response, especially after hours.  

So, going forward, no checking the phone during meals.  No more than three checks in the evening, no checking at restaurants, at the movies, at football games.  Just leave it in the pocket until I need it. 

And as for Facebook, I'm thinking no more than twice a day.  Unless I'm really bored waiting for something.  But the key is to stop the compulsive, obsessive glances all day every day.

Learn More About Something That I Enjoy Doing

I don't have any hobbies per se, I get bored rather easily, and also have a nagging tendency to dive into something with both feet for a couple of years, spend a wad of money on it, and then abandon it without looking back.  

But there are two things that I do really enjoy doing with regularity- cooking and home improvement.

I think I'm a decent cook, and now that I am back home in Denver I've had a few opportunities to host get togethers and I've loved cooking for others.  I make a mean flat iron steak and grilled spicy sweet potatoes, a great spaghetti with sausage and meatballs with a damn decent sauce and I've been working on a passable bbq sauce, amongst other things.  I'd like to continue to cook, try new things/techniques, and host folks for meals more often.  I can pour time and energy into cooking and not really waste anything, cause I gotta eat no matter what, right?

After renting for 9 years, getting back into home ownership was a little daunting; all the more so when I saw our house for the first time.  Its a great place, don't get me wrong, but it needed a lot more work than I thought it would when we bought it (for those not in the know, I "saw" the house twice via Skype before I bought it, but ultimately never set foot in it until after the papers were signed).

In the last three months, I feel like we've transformed this property.  It's not remotely done, but the spaces that we have worked on are in all modestly beautiful.  This is the first house that I have owned that I have really felt proud of, and a lot of it is because I have insisted throughout that we do things "right".  If the floor is shaped like a half pipe, we gotta fix that shit man!  It is more work, but the results are discernibly better.  I feel like there's an opportunity here- maybe we start flipping houses, or start contracting out to others.  Something.  I need to learn more about real estate and about construction and you know, see what happens.  

Lose 42 Pounds

For those keeping score, that's one pound for every year that I've walked the earth, plus one pound because of my birthday this year.

I've bounced between fat-buff and just fat for a few years now.  I'm in decent shape all in all, and my waistline really isn't that bad.  Its just the beer keg that I lug around that needs to go. Really, 21 pounds this year and maybe another 10 next year would be fine, but I have to start somewhere with it. And it seems logical that the best way to get rid of the beer keg is to just stop refilling it with so much fricking beer.  And maybe eat less.  And you know, exercise a little bit.

There's no downside to this resolution, except I need to not drink so much beer.  I'll feel better, sleep better, and probably live longer.  It is a no brainer, but it is something that so many try to do and fail. I'll shoot to not be one of them.

Embrace The People In My Life

Three things happened to people in my life in the last year that have resonated with me as we move into 2016.  

My father almost died.  I spent close to three weeks with him trying to help him, finally went home and two days later he was being rushed into emergency surgery.  A week later he walked out of the hospital, but there was a period of about eight hours there where both the doctors and I felt that I was about to lose my Dad.  

My aunt died.  I hadn't seen her in at least 20 years, and I must have been an infant when I saw her before that.  She and my uncle bought me my first CD player as a high school graduation gift, and the memories that I do have of her were that she was charming, had a twinkle in her eye, a love for life, was fearless, kind, and friendly, and she welcomed me in to her home and family without a blink.

My third stepfather auctioned off the house that his father built and that he had lived in for most of his life, along with most of the belongings inside including his impressive guitar collection and presumably a good chunk of my Mom's stuff because he had gotten to a point in his life where he could no longer care for it or for himself.  He is probably in his mid 50's.  I haven't spoken to him in six years, since right after my mother died.  The only reason I know about the auction is I Googled him in October.  The auction was back in April.

I'm sure that as we get older the frequency of these events increases; its logical, right?  But it makes me think about the years that have gone by where I saw my Dad for a day or two every year, or the family on my mother's side that I have no contact with and my father's side that I have very little contact with, or the fact that I walked away from the remnants of my Mom's life and never looked back because I guess I always suspected I'd get a phone call one day to come and pick up her stuff. Life is short, gang.  Our time here is fleeting, and in the end it isn't the material things that will keep us happy; it is the people in our lives that will ultimately fulfill us.  I am blessed to be a part of my wife's wonderful family, and I hate that it took us moving back for me to really appreciate them as much as I should have.  

So I need to love more, to interact more, to reach out more.  I need to appreciate what I have more, to share more, to celebrate the time that we do have more.  I need to make sure that time spent is quality time, even if it's spent screaming at the Broncos and drinking too much.  Because time is fleeting.

So there you have it.  Four things that I can do this year that will make a difference.  It's not 52, but hey it's a start, right?